I have been part of a military family since birth. My dad was in the Navy for 30 years. Shortly after graduating from college, I met my husband who is an active-duty Marine. We’ve been married for 16.5 years and together are raising four wonderful military kids. We have moved 9 times and lived in 13 homes! I find that having a background in this lifestyle makes it easier for me to relate and empathize with my children as they navigate life in a military family.
For many years, my family has had books to help our own kids through moves and separations, but about three years ago, we hit a new stage where we were searching for a book geared toward older kids. Picture books abound, but a chapter book with the main character as a military kid? That’s exceptionally hard to find. It was obvious to me that older military children needed to be better represented in literature. I believe it’s vital that they feel connected to one another and to the greater military community. To me, this window of time (termed “middle-grade” in literature and encompassing roughly grades 3-8) is so critical. It’s the time period when kids will start to decide if they think this military lifestyle is worth the challenge. Messages of positivity and encouragement through the tough, could make such a huge difference in shaping their opinions about the value of this lifestyle. If books existed that reiterated that while sometimes difficult, the unique experiences military children live are actually worthwhile and value-adding, I believe they would prove to be a crucial tool in helping to offset the stressors of the military lifestyle.
In Desert Tough there are recurring themes of courage, resilience, respect, inclusivity, and flexibility. I hope that the reader will catch glimpses of themselves, their families, and their lifestyles in the characters and the situations in which the characters find themselves. As well, I hope that it’s an authentic portrayal of our efforts after a move to get settled in a new place, but more importantly an authentic portrayal of the tenacity demonstrated by overcoming those challenges and contributing in positive ways to our new communities. Resilience in our military children is hard-earned. There is very little that is easy in this life, which makes the grace shown by military children throughout these stressful changes all the more incredible and deserving of recognition. It is my sincerest wish that children finish reading Desert Tough with their hearts filled with pride at being included in the ranks of Diego (the main character) and other military children.
I am fortunate to have a lifetime of interesting situations and scenarios from which to draw inspiration. The servicemembers I have known are honorable, loyal, and hard-working. Likewise, the families walking beside them through this life have been equally awe-inspiring, motivating, and selfless. It’s an honor to be able to include authentic aspects of our lifestyle into my writing for middle-grade children!
At the end of the book, I included some discussion questions to help foster conversations between the reader and their important adults. The idea was that Desert Tough could be read, independently or with a parent, and then the reader could consider the questions and even discuss them with their family. As well, Desert Tough could be read in a small group setting, for example as part of a lunch bunch at school with a guidance counselor. In that setting, the discussion questions would help to stimulate conversations and the sharing of personal experiences amongst the children involved. I hope that, after consideration of the questions, the readers can see that the challenges can be numerous (and are very real), but they are shared. No one is walking this path alone, a fact that provides comfort and bolstering in tough times.
Moreover, I hope adults take advantage of these conversations to coach children to see how incredible some of their opportunities are. As adults, we have the important role of helping our children to maintain perspective. We owe it to our children, to be honest. Moving is hard, especially when you invest yourself in your communities, but moving allows us to try out new climates, new locations, new cultures, even new continents. Very few people can say they have friends in multiple time zones, but military children can! We have friends all over the world. We may have had challenges, but we’ve overcome every one of them. How incredible is that? We give back to the communities we are a part of. We invest energy and time into people and programs. We set examples and inspire others simply by keeping our heads up and carrying ourselves with grace through the trials. Military kids are born into a special type of service and it deserves to be celebrated.
It’s ironic that the same military lifestyle that inspired me to write Desert Tough is also what got in the way of finishing this book in a more timely manner. I wrote Desert Tough and then my family got orders. We moved and this project had to take a back seat. My husband started traveling a great deal and I was acting as a single parent managing a busy household on my own. There wasn’t much extra time. My kids, who have been my biggest supporters, kept asking when I would finish the project. Then, they started asking if I was going to finish it. That really impacted me. I had voiced to them an intention of writing a book. I had verbalized my hopes for it to be published so that other children could see themselves reflected in a story. Their pointed questions gave me the motivation I needed to prioritize the project and see it to fruition. Receiving the first printed books was a very surreal moment. Seeing the pride on my kids’ faces was priceless!
I really wanted to show my children that anyone (even a nurse turned stay-at-home-mom) can identify a need and work to fill a gap. We, as individuals, are able to contribute in real, tangible ways to our communities. We should challenge ourselves to be the change we want to see and set that example for our own children. Having published Desert Tough is one of ways I hope to have positively impacted the military community at large during my time as a Marine spouse.
Books can either be categorized as a mirror or a window, depending on the reader’s perspective. In a mirror, the reader sees aspects of their life reflected back to them and can feel some connection with the characters or situations in which the characters find themselves. In a window, the reader gets to peek into a world that is foreign to them, learn about it, and see if from a perspective that is novel which can allow them to be more empathetic. Desert Tough would be a mirror for military-related kids and potentially a window for those who live near bases, but aren’t affiliated with the military or extended family of the active duty servicemember. Regardless of the reader’s background, I hope that Desert Tough resonates with them and fosters a supportive sense of unity.
Truthfully, I am reveling in the fact that I finished this huge undertaking and contributed to helping our military children get represented in literature! My free time as a mom of four very active kids is non-existent, but I do hope to write more in the future. For the time being, I am enjoying the warm reception that Desert Tough has had and am working hard to have my book reach the largest audience possible so it can support the most children that it can.
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