By: Christina Etchberger
Be the change agent. Every day I think of these words my aunt said to me. It reminds me of who I need to be for myself and the military community, but most importantly for my sons.
During my husband's first deployment, my family took me to Disney!
It was my oldest son's first time experiencing all of the excitement of this magical place. My world had drastically changed when my husband told me he was going to deploy. Deployment? I knew it was a thing, but I didn't know it would come so soon. If you have ever had a spouse deploy, you know how it goes. So much unpredictability.
Before his very first deployment, he went from not deploying to deploying within months. We had time to prepare, but I wasn't used to plans not being on my Google Calendar, with an event title, date, and time. When I was a full-time middle school science teacher, my former colleagues could tell you, I had my Google agenda ready to go for each and every class period. It gave me structure, control, and even the students loved knowing what was next.
I even had each learning objective and activity down to the minute. It was glorious.
When I was walking with my aunt, and her amazing family of change agents, her words had such an impact. How can I make any changes, while living in such an unpredictable military world?
First, I changed my attitude.
Secondly, I started joining more clubs for spouses and participated in playgroups on post. I even met a Marine wife on a local Mommy and Me page. She got me through the ups and downs of deployment, with her son who is about the same age as my oldest son. My change in attitude led me to more friends, because I made it happen.
No more counting down.
I turned off that notorious countdown app that told me how many days left until he came home. The time was a bit unscheduled and not always on my Google Calendar, except maybe a few local Facebook events, but it was a time I would never forget.
I created my OWN happiness, which then led me to seeing time in a different way. Not always predictable, but I now use whatever kind of time I have to participate at Army Community Service events, volunteer with USO, join and participate in the spouse's club, and enjoy each and every moment.
Don't think I’m not still using my Google Calendar. I do. My passion for teaching is still a part of my everyday life. I now am homeschooling my little preschooler, and no surprise there, he even has a calendar. We need structure somewhere.
I write this today, to remind you that you can spark change. You just have to know who you are, and what you want to be. My aunt changed my life. I hope to change others' lives too. Even if it is only a few; I did my job. You might never know what you have done to change a person's life, especially along your military journey.
Be the change agent, because somebody has to! Why not you?
"First, I changed my attitude." love this!
That day with my family, especially with my aunt, changed the course of my life as a military spouse forever. Remember to thank those not directly in the military community for truly listening to you, especially during the ups and downs of deployment.